This wasn’t the plan.
Last week, I was invited to speak at Grantham College for their Annual Student and Staff Awards Ceremony. It’s where I studied a few years ago, and they asked me back as a “successful former student.” Lovely title - but honestly, it sent me into a bit of an imposter syndrome spiral.
Still, I said yes. It felt like a good moment to reflect on the journey so far - and to talk honestly about the fact that, for me, there was never really a big masterplan. In fact, the first words I said to the room were: “This wasn’t the plan.”
Because it wasn’t. Not at all. And that’s sort of the point.
No Grand Plan
The truth is, I’ve never really had a proper plan. When I left school, I had no idea what I wanted to do. When I left college, I still wasn’t sure. When I graduated from university - still guessing.
And weirdly, I’m okay with that now. In fact it was just the other week when I was sat having a coffee with a friend when I said:
“I don’t want to know what I want to do”
which I’m still not sure if this is a profound or daft thought!
Not having it all mapped out used to make me feel like I was behind everyone else. Like they had secret knowledge and I’d missed the memo. But I’ve learned that not having a fixed direction can actually be a strength. It keeps you open. You spot things others miss. You say yes to odd opportunities because you’re not blinkered by a 10-year plan.
That openness - paired with just showing up consistently - has taken me to places I never expected.
A Long, Wiggly Path
Since leaving school in 2004, I’ve had a lot of different jobs. Some musical, some not. Some ridiculous. Some surprisingly useful. I’ve worked in supermarkets and mortgage offices, been a cocktail maker and a choir director, a film composer and a theme park gardener.
Each one taught me something - whether that was learning to talk to customers, or figuring out how to explain compound interest (which, to be honest, I still barely understand). Even the jobs that felt like time-fillers gave me skills I use now. Admin. People. Problem-solving.
The first major shift came in 2009 when I left my office job and decided to go self-employed. I started teaching music in schools, gigging more, and slowly built a career that felt like mine.
Then the pandemic hit.
Like many freelance musicians, I lost most of my work overnight. Because my income was so mixed, I didn’t qualify for support. That could’ve been the end of it.
Instead, it became a restart.
Back to Education
In 2020, I enrolled at Grantham College on an Access to Higher Education course. I wanted to study music properly. Not just for the degree, but to feel like I belonged in the world I’d already been working in.
That led to a place at the University of Nottingham, where I ended up earning a First Class Honours degree in Music. My certificate says I’ve:
“satisfied all the conditions prescribed by the university to achieve a First Class Bachelor of Arts with Honours in Music”
But the certificate doesn’t tell the full story.
It doesn’t mention the trips to France and Belgium, the collaborations with the BBC Concert Orchestra, or the time I worked with Natasha Bedingfield. It doesn’t mention the new friends, the concerts, the failures, or the absolute joy of spending hours in the library - which, frankly, shocked me most of all.
I went into it with a plan: get the degree, stay quiet, tick the boxes.
That plan didn’t last long.
What I Told the Students
When I stood in front of the students last week, I asked them to raise their hands:
Who knows exactly what they want to do? A few hands raised.
Who has no idea? A few mote hands raised…
And who feels like they’re winging it while everyone else looks like they’ve got it sorted? Even more hands!
Here’s the thing: you don’t need to have it figured out. But you do need to start. You need to show up. Be curious. Try things. Say yes to strange opportunities. Learn from the ones that don’t work out.
If you already know your path - amazing. Just don’t let that path get too narrow. The world is full of unexpected turns that might end up being better than what you had in mind.
And if you don’t know your path - that’s amazing too. Follow what excites you. Chase the things you lose track of time doing. The things you’d do even if no one paid you (though try and get paid eventually).
The career I have now - composing, conducting, teaching, writing - didn’t even seem possible to me five years ago.
Keep Showing Up
If you take one thing from this post, let it be this:
Keep showing up.
Keep learning.
Say yes more often than you say no.
Reach out to people doing things you admire.
Try stuff.
Mess it up.
Try again.
You don’t need to follow someone else’s map.
You get to draw your own.
